I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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