i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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