Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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