just come out here and I will go home with you...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
