You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
