Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize