I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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