So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
