I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
