I accidentally burped into my bong.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
did i just pee glitter
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
