In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need to calm my uterus...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
