So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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