I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
