Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
