And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
worst night to have a conscience
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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