let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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