i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
