I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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