I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she told me i tasted like america
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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