win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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