i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
