you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
