My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
