Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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