The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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