...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
