A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
