Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
