the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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