Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize