Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You are a genius and a whore.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
