I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Even my vagina gasped.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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