her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
