I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
