oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
