she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
