We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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