Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
