If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
