Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
