they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
