I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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