he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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