Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
