the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
