The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
