We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
