does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
