Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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