let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize