I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
