dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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