hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
