we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
