so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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