So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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