My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
