Your tits are I can't wait for
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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