I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We are two peas in an std pod
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
