i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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