Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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