i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
